sábado, abril 18, 2020

Monday, July 9, 2007 4:00pm

Namaste loving friends!
I know that has been less than a week since the last time I wrote but to many things happen so I am here again!

I went to Osho to do the “Art with Heart” course, but as soon as I arrived I discovered that I had to pay around $300 extra! (for 3 days its really expensive for Indian standards). So I decided not to do it because I do not have a lot of money in my checking account. Then a venezuelan woman told me that was possible to take out money from my credit card. I was very happy and went to the bank with my Venezuelan credit card, when arriving there they told me that I needed my passport in order to do that transaction but I did not have it, so I believed I was not going to do the course, but I decided to keep trying so I went to the Osho’s registration office to see if the had a copy of my passport which I provided the first day, they did not but they gave me a printed paper with my passport number written on it, so I returned to the bank to see if they accepted it, they say YES! So I say to myself: Perfect! I am doing the course!
They took the card and tried to take 15.000 rupees from it but it was declined (they tried smaller amounts and it did not work, by the way I don’t have a clue of what is happening with my card…) So I said to myself: Ok, it seems that I should not do the course.
I walk to the plaza to tell the facilitator that I was not going to do it, and the Venezuelan woman again told me: “You know, it’s a shame that you speak Spanish not Italian because they are looking for a Italian translator” Then I was feeling really weird! So I approach the facilitator and told him that I speak Italian but he answer me that they already had somebody, at that time I really could not care less, in fact I was enjoying what looked to me as a game :D As you can imagine, I stayed in the Plaza chatting with the Venezuelan woman and after 5 minutes the facilitator called me and tell me that told the other translator what was going on and she was happy to let me in because she had other things to do! So I was in and free :)

I think that sometimes, even if you want something and do everything to achieve it, at the end is the universe who will decide if you are in or not, and the way it happen is sometimes more important that the final objective. I could leave the resort after knowing the price or after going to the bank or after knowing about the already existing translator, or being really frustrated or angry, but I keep trying with I smile, open to all possibilities and trusting the universe (light or god, whatever you like to call it) to provide me the best!

The course was amazing, it was not about painting techniques, it was about opening our hearts, and connecting to the creativeness within us, without letting the mind to take control of ourselves. We faced fear, learn to support other people and to feel supported, practiced being independent and entering to a world of infinite possibilities, let go, let flow, and connect with the energy within and outside us, without judging, just observing.

For me was mostly about walking outside my safe and protected place and trusting myself, facing pain and growing thru it. Letting go and enjoying the process… Really beautiful!

I painted an eye, huge eye with flowers and leafs and the second day suddenly while painting the top of the canvas, I put to much water and all the green painting was falling on one edge of the eye. When I look at it, it was like the big perfect yellow eye was crying, green tears falling with no stop… I asked the facilitator to help me but he told me that I was alone in that part so I just sat in front of the eye while feeling my own tears falling, did not know how to stop his pain, my pain… Finally I just put my hand in my heart and begin facing the pain, observing it, felt supported from something inside me, bigger that myself, and knew that everything was going to be fine, that everything was already good, even tears and pain where ok. (It was not about the painting, it was a mirror!)

Everyone in our group experience growing, surprise and healing during the course! Love it! And now I ask myself: Is this Art Therapy? How much more deep can we go with it?

I feel grateful and very happy of this opportunity!


With an open heart, love u!

Deborah